Protected
by Shuuri
Summary: What Ichigo thought when Rukia was taken back to Soul Society. Why was it?  Why was it that only her he could never protect?  Why, of all people, must it be her?


**Protected**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach

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_Why is it? Why is it that only you I can never protect? Why, of all people, must it be you? _

_Rukia. _

-----

Rain. Again rain took away something important, something precious, from him. He really hated it. He hated rain.

-----

_The sound of light, rushed footsteps. Dully he noted how they had come to sound so familiar to his ears. _

_"Run!" It was her voice. _

_"What are you doing, Rukia?" angrily demanded the other Shinigami. Renji, his name, was it? "Damn it, let go of me!" _

_So, she was holding him back. _

_"Are you trying to get yourself into deeper shit? Let me go, idiot!" _

_"Run, Ichigo!" _

_Run? Him? _

_"Stand! Get up and run away!" _

_Why? _

_"Ichigo!" _

_Why? _

_Was he here only to be beaten and then run away? The reason he was here at all was because… _

-----

He didn't like to think of it but, even though it had been only a short time, he thought he had come to know her quite well.

Well enough to hear her voice in his ears, the words she had said with her eyes when she had looked back at him over her shoulder before the door closed.

_I'm sorry that you have to be involved. I'm sorry that you have to suffer. I'm sorry… _

_For everything. _

Damn it.

-----

_His body felt so heavy and weak. It hurt. But how did he…? Blood. His blood soaking... Sounds. Who…? _

_"Ichigo!" _

_The familiar light, rushed footsteps. _

_"Ichigo!" _

_Close to him, someone got up and ran quickly toward the direction of the approaching light footsteps. _

_"Forget it!" It was that shinigami. _

_A loud clang. As though something had collided against a hollow metal. _

_"Let go, Renji! Ichigo is…" _

_"What the hell are you talking about! Look closer! That brat is dead!" _

_A short pause. Who was that brat he was talking about? _

_"Don't you get it? Just _touching_ him right now will add 20 years to your sentence! What the hell of a reason is there to worsen your crime for a _dead_ guy?" _

_Sentence? Crime? Rukia…? _

_There was a soft whisper. What did she…? "...It's _my_ fault that he died! What's wrong with me running over to him!" _

_Her fault? Her fault? Because he was… _

-----

He's not going to die. Not like this, damn it! After all, it's his fault in the first place that she had to give up her shinigami power. Because of him. Because of him, that's why she…

-----

_He learned that worse than the pain of dying was the pain of getting protected by her. _

_"Filthy human," she called him. "How dare a filthy human seize Nii-sama's leg." _

_The shock and, perhaps, even rage that had gripped him earlier suddenly died and was replaced by a heavy fear the moment he saw her eyes. She was not going to… No, she wouldn't…! _

_But her words rang clear, painfully clear, to his ears. "Know your place, boy!" _

_And he realized that she would. For him, she would do it. _

_She turned away. "Let us go, Nii-sama. Kuchiki Rukia's eyes have been opened by this human's action. Please, take me to Soul Society. I shall humbly atone for my crimes" _

Please. Please, no_. "Wait…damn it!" _Don't do it._ "What are you saying?" _Rukia, please_. "Rukia, damn it!" _

_His head was forced down to the ground. "You just don't know when to give up. Quit wriggling around and just lie there and die quietly." _

_"I doubt we have need to trouble ourselves to deal him a final blow. If we leave him so, eventually he will breathe his last." _

_She's going to save him. _

_"Let us go, Nii-sama," she said and started to walk away. _

_"Wait, Rukia!" _Wait_. "What kind of joke is this?" _Let it be a joke_. "Look at me, damnit!" _Listen to me!_ "Hey!" _Don't do it!

_"Don't move!" _

_He froze. _

_"Just try moving one step. Just try coming after me. I…" she finally turned and looked at him. "I will never forgive you!" _

Live. This is all I can do for you.

_"Eventually you will die, so lay there and live as long as you will." _

Live. I'm sorry that it has to be like this.

-----

And so, he got protected again. By her.

Why was it? Why was it that only her he could never protect? Why, of all people, must it be her?

Damn it. Damn it all.

_Rukia. _


End file.
